I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. If only I could rely on my age as an excuse for indecision; alas, I am an adult… with a kid. As mentioned in my previous post, sometimes I think about risk, which causes me to think about how to mitigate risk, which then causes me to think about how a business should mitigate risk, which finally makes me think I’m prepared to take a risk on an idea – or rather a future.
Many times throughout the work day (yes, every day) I ponder why this all matters (work, not life)? Why do the people I work with treat every little issue as a world-ending crisis? Does it matter if the company sells 35% YoY more shit this holiday season? No, it sure does not, unless you subscribe to the idea that businesses must always grow, indefinitely. As I think harder about why my coworkers (seemingly, I can’t actually tell) care so much about the company that employs them, I start to think about what a company should look like so employees actually care. Then, I start to wonder if I could start that company? Could I help change corporate America? Can I evolve beyond “cog in the machine” into an actual catalyst for good?
Eventually, I bottom out on purpose. What is my purpose? What motivates me? My child, El, motivates me but not in a professional sense. I believe I can still maintain my professional life, professional goals, that do not necessarily need to overlap with my familial goals. Unfortunately, nothing tends to happen over night. Anything worth accomplishing is built on a series of small wins. These wins take time. Time, I don’t have (at least not much). At minimum 8 hours of my day – not including commute time – is spent on my day job. It pays well, but at some point that does have to change. That’s a massive block of time for a job that is purely a transaction in my eyes. I suppose I just have to make small progress towards a future where I can repurpose that time to spend elsewhere – be it family, business, or a hobby. At the very least, I’d like to choose when I dedicate time and to what.
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